An accidentally retro blog.

Or ‘How I learned to stop fighting spoilers and just watch Game of Thrones’, a novel by Kirk McKenzie. We join our heroes in a story already in progress. Here’s the journey so far. Kirk, an avid reader of ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’ by George RR Martin has only seen season 1 of the HBO series Game of Thrones. Been, a half-hearted reader of the books is fully up-to-date with the show as of today, May 4, 2019. Been and Kirk decided to pool their collective Thrones knowledge to an epic watch (him) / re-watch (her) starting at season 2. While the rest of the world gasps and posts real-time spoilers about whatever is happening in season 8, Kirk and Been are gasping and posting years-too-late spoilers about what is currently (to them) happening in season 2.

Kirk gets to test his powers of prediction!

Been gets to test her powers of forgetting everything she’s already seen!

They both eat cheese!

Now that the proverbial stage is set, let’s do this!

THIS BLOG IS DARK AND FULL OF SPOILERS (FOR SEASON 2)


SEASON 2 EPISODE 10

Been: The night is dark and full of terrors and the north is very north. And full of zombies. Is this what we learned?

Kirk: Um, I think so. I still stand by they were afraid of running out of budget and blew it in the last episode on dragons and walkers.

Been: Like a lot of walkers.

Kirk: Like a lot. Some of which, as per discussion, were awfully naked to have died in the north. So it seems there’s only one way they could have died. But this is Game of Bones, so…

Been: It wouldn’t be Game of Thrones without sexy exposition. Sexposition.

Kirk: Mmm I like coining new words. I like it better when they’re puns but I still like coining new words.

Been: So Dany and the Dragons, not the 80s cover band….

Kirk: That HAS to be an 80s cover band! 100%. Uh, she got the dragons from the House of the Undying. I wasn’t completely sure they’d be there but she did get them and they were there. Uh, other predictions, Tywin did indeed take the glory for quote/unquote “winning” which was obvious nonsense. We did see Melisandre. Now, I said we’d see Cersei’s captive that she thought was Tyrion’s girlfriend. And we did. But I said it would be bad and it mostly wasn’t. I expected it to be Cersei punishing her and it was not. Uh, Joffrey got a depressing amount of comeuppance. Depressing as in zero. Um, I said we’d see Jon because it was the end of the season and they want to make him important. While he stares searchingly off into the distance at nothing whatsoever. Um, however I also said that Cat would escape and meet up with Brienne and Jaime, not so much. But I said that Tyrion maybe would be at a loss for words and schemes and I think I’ll take that as a win. Ooh, I did predict repercussions for Robb wanting to run off with his doctor lady: the repercussions are coming but they’re not here yet.

Been: Let’s talk Faceless Men.

Kirk: Mmmm, seems real handy. Um, I think it’s possible Arya will run into him again. But it will be a long time.

Been: Okay so quick king tally, who is on the board king-wise right now?

Kirk: Ugh, there’s so many. Uh, Mance is the king in the northest. Robb is still saying he’s the king in the north. Joffrey is still the king of tools. Stannis is claiming kingship. He’s not precisely wrong. He wouldn’t be much of an improvement over Joffrey, though. Dany, she’s Khaleesi, not king or queen. Although she wants to be both. I don’t think Theon’s father actually called himself a king.

Been: But Theon did call himself Prince of Winterfell.

Kirk: Yeah, Theon says a lot of things.

Been: Okay so did anyone die this episode?

Kirk: Um, yes. Jon killed the Halfhand. The warlock in Quarth died. By dragonfire. The quote/unquote king in Quarth didn’t precisely die this episode but was pretty doomed to death along with Dany’s traitorous handmaiden. Um, the Maester. He was stabbed by the Ironborn but finished off by Osha.

Been: So, given the whole season, what are your predictions for the big opener of season three?

Kirk: Oooh the big opener, that’s uh… Theon gets dragged back to the Iron Isles. Bran and Osha do witchy things in the woods. Hmmmm. Melisandre’s gonna have to do something magical-like for Stannis. Uh, if Tyrion wants to stay around King’s Landing he’s gonna have to do something bold, I’m not sure what. Shae will stick with him. Uh, Daenerys might get her ship, that could make a good arc for season three. Joffrey and Cersei will continue to make me angry. I feel like there’ll be the start of some new story arc with Arya but I’m not sure what. I feel like that’s already a lot for one episode but maybe Jon Snow meeting Mance. And Ser Buttersworth will appear!

Been: Let’s talk Sansa for a moment. So she’s still a Lannister prisoner but she’s been set aside by Joffrey in favor of Margaery Tyrell as a fiance. What does this mean for Sansa?

Kirk: Um, at first it’ll seem like more freedom but that’s all going to go sideways real fast I suspect. I don’t think she’s gonna like escape or something though. I don’t have any real specifics there.

Been: Quick Direwolf roll call. Go!

Kirk: Uh… Ghost… Nymeria… Shaggydog… Summer… Grey Wind? Wolf? Something?… Lady, Sansa’s terrible dog name.

Been: You’re doing really well!

Kirk: I was surprised, honestly.

Been: Do you know the dragons’ names?

Kirk: I almost have one because Daenerys said it during the episode but I can’t quite actually get it.

Been: I’m gonna stop you there because what Dany actually said was “Dracarys” which is High Valeryian for “fire”.

Kirk: Huh, well then, I guess I didn’t even have a hint of any names. Names are hard. Puns are good.


SEASON 2 EPISODE 9

Been: This episode is called ‘Blackwater’. Break down the title for us, Kirk.

Kirk: That was the reference to the water just outside the King’s Landing. I’m not sure if that was the name of the harbour or what but that was the reference there. It was obviously no longer black since it was, you know, on fire.

Been: Did you, in fact, predict a battle?

Kirk: Yep, yep I do believe that I specifically said that I think Stannis is going to make it to King’s Landing. Totally did. You asked what he’d do if he made it and I said ‘pig shit’. I’d call that a pretty unqualified win.

Been: What else did you call right?

Kirk: Well I’m looking at my predictions and that one was a win. They spent roughly the whole episode in King’s Landing. Spoiler alert, that was not what I predicted. Well I did say that Sansa would show up and be friends with Shae. I’m willing to call some success on that. However I said there would be Bran and Osha in the wilderness, there was not. I said Cat was gonna escape, there was not. Daenerys in the House of the Undying? There was not.

Been: How about the battle itself? Was it satisfying?

Kirk: I mean the wildfyre, everyone burning as intended, was quote/unquote satisfying. As you pointed out during the episode, war is stupid and they kind of showed a brutal and stupid war. So yeah, brutal and stupid war.

Been: Alas, Joffrey survived.

Kirk: *groans* Yeaaaaah and acted in extremely Joffrey ways.

Been: We learned that The Hound is afraid of fire!

Kirk: Hmmmm. And that he doesn’t seem all that dedicated to Joffrey as he would have liked people to think earlier.

Been: Think Tywin will take the glory for quote/unquote “winning” the battle?

Kirk: Yeah I totally think that he will. He won’t believe that his half-man son did anything useful.

Been: Okay but NEXT episode we get dragons, right?

Kirk: YES. At the House of the Undying. Well, she’ll make it to the House of the Undying. If the dragons are there, it’ll be great. If the dragons are not there, they’re at some other weird cult place.

Been: Other predictions? Keeping in mind next episode is end of the season.

Kirk: Ooooh end of the season! I suspect they’ll sort of want to tie some stuff up. I think we’re going to see Melisandre. Um, possibly Cersei’s captive that she thinks is Tyrion’s girlfriend. And that’ll be bad if we see her. Yep, Daenerys like I said. I’m hoping that Joffrey gets a teensy bit of comeuppance but I’m sadly doubting it. We’ll definitely need to see Jon because it’s the end of the season. Mmm Cat will escape and meet up with Brienne and Jaime. Tyrion may be somewhat at a loss for words and schemes. I think that’s about it. I can’t think of anyone else important that I think will show up.

Been: Do you realize every episode the big threat is Robb, king of the north, and we never talk about him?

Kirk: Eeeeeeeeeh I don’t know if I say every episode. We’ve been talking about Cat! We’ve been talking about the more important people there. Robb seems a little lost. Oh, that’s a good point. I think there’ll be repercussions this episode for him wanting to run off with his doctor lady.

Been: Final question. Did Stannis’ advisor survive the wildfyre?

Kirk: Yes but not his son.


SEASON 2 EPISODE 8

Been: Okay, Kirk, it’s been a week. Were your predictions proved by the test of time?

Kirk: Well. I mean… alright let’s start with successes. Uh, let’s see here I had a prediction about the reaction from Theon’s burning kids basically that if everyone wants to slit his throat he’s not gonna be able to hold the castle. I’d like to point out that his sister showed up and said that. So I feel somewhat justified there. I’m going to take a half-win for the Kingslayer and Brienne. I said that she was going to abscond in the night with the knight so, yeah, half-win. Cat did not go with them. I also said that Bran and RICKON *is so proud of his name recollection* were not the bodies in Winterfell. And that it was the farmer’s kids. I said we’d see Sam. And we did! That’s about any that I can claim to be any kind of great success.

I said that I definitely implied in my prediction that Dany would get the dragons back, did not so very much happen. I said that Jon and Ygritte were totally gonna end up in bed but I did say I wasn’t sure it would be this episode, still gonna stand on that. I said that Bran and Osha would end up in the wilderness doing witchy things. And I mean Winterfell is basically the wilderness, right?

Been: STOP.

Kirk: *laughs*

Been: We are not having this conversation again.

Kirk: Yeah I said that we would see Stannis but I said that he would show up to King’s Landing earlier than expected due to Melisandre’s magic. That’s a whiff. I think that’s about it that I see here.

Been: Do you think that a better buddy show spin-off is Tyrion and Bronn or Tyrion and Varys?

Kirk: I think Tyrion and Varys for a very straight-forward simple sort of reason. The Tyrion and Bronn Show would be like a half season of content. There’s just not enough there. Tyrion and Varys, that could go places. That could be six seasons and a movie!

Been: How do we feel about the poor captive whore who is not Tyrion’s whore?

Kirk: Yeah she’s in an awful situation. Like, I think she was kinda playing along because what other choice did she have? But she could totally get, you know, hurt or killed by Cersei as a way to compel Tyrion to do something AND I think he may call her bluff and just do it anyways.

Been: Yeah. Yeah, she’s in a rough spot.

Kirk: Yeah.

Been: What’s the over/under on Brienne knocking Jaime on his ass for his smart mouth?

Kirk: Like next episode? Long term I think it’s a fantastic chance. Next episode I think there’s about a 65% chance it ends up happening.

Been: On a scale of zero to twitterpated, how in love with Dany is Jorah?

Kirk: Oooh, see, I’ve definitely heard this from some people who shall remain nameless who are in the same room, um, so I feel I may be a little biased here… I think I’m not actually sure, he might just be someone who believes he has sworn himself to the cause. But like he could totally be into her. That’s definitely a possibility on the table, I think.

Been: Okay, prediction time. Get yer predictin’ hat on.

Kirk: Right, right. Hmmmm. Uh, Sansa’s gonna show up. Maybe friends with Shae. There’ll be more Bran and Osha in the WILDERNESS OF WINTERFELL *laughs*. Um, hmmm, totally think Stannis gonna make it to King’s Landing. Cat is going to escape and meet up with Brienne and Jaime. Hmmm, who else? Mmmm I think Daenerys will end up at the House of the Undying, still not sure if dragons are there or not. Um, yep. That’s about it.

Been: When Stannis arrives at King’s Landing, what happens?

Kirk: Pig shit. If Tyrion correctly guessed where he’s gonna show up, there’ll be basically an explosive welcoming party. If he guessed wrong, there’s going to be sadness.

Been: Final question. What is Stannis’ advisor’s name?

Kirk: *laughs* LISTEN NO ONE SAID IT IN THIS EPISODE! That’s obviously an unreasonable question. His name is Ser Buttersworth!


Season 2 Episode 7

Been: We’re going to take the advice of Prince Humperdinck from The Princess Bride and skip to the end. Tell me about that last scene!

Kirk: *groans* Theon. I think that’s pretty much summed up as he needs a lot of comeuppance. That’s just kind of the thing. He needs a lot! I’m not surprised by his actions. That does seem like the kind of thing he would do but yeah, he needs to fall down a bottomless well for the rest of his life, like bouncing off the sides.

Been: You didn’t predict that, Kirk.

Kirk: I did not, that is correct.

Been: So let’s run through what you DID predict.

Kirk: Excellent. Now I don’t mean to alarm anyone but Daenerys did not get the ship. So I said she’d throw a tantrum to get her dragons back by killing some people and getting thrown out of the city. She did not. Someone else did all the killing, not at her bidding. And she doesn’t really have the dragons yet. Um, I was pretty confident that Arya would be dealing with aftermath of that, okay I don’t know his name but in my defense he was kind of a bit character, I mean if I want to be the best kind of correct she was dealing with the aftermath of, like, the death and the guards everywhere and Old Mister Lannister being more paranoid. But like real talk I meant aftermath as in how she felt about it and there was none of that. Cat still did not talk to her son.

Been: I mean I don’t think that’s gonna happen because there’s a lot going on and he’s not even there.

Kirk: Yeah I just thought he’d be back in this episode. And it turns out, nope! Too many storylines. I did say there’d be Bran and Osha which there was. I did however earlier talk about her taking them out to the wilderness and there’d be witchy magic things, I still though, my suspicion is that they were nowhere near that farm, they just stopped by and stole some stuff and disappeared into the wilderness. I also said that we’d see Sam trying to track down Jon and TTTHHPPBBTTT. None of that. I said Cersei would have a plot against Tyrion: she might be plotting but it definitely did not come up in the episode. That was sort of the all the predictions I had. You asked if I thought all the dragons would make it and so far we haven’t seen otherwise so, unresolved.

Been: You’re not gonna take a victory lap for the Shae and Sansa friendship?

Kirk: Oh man, I absolutely should. That is absolutely correct. Yeah, I think that’s basically all the predictions, though.

Been: Real talk, is Cat gonna slay Jaime?

Kirk: Noooooo. Although she should. She’s an extremely reasonable person and she wants her damn kids back. And that’s her primary bargaining chip. In fact, given what Brienne said to her, I suspect that she’s going to abscond in the night with, hehe, the knight. Um, and try to bring him somewhere else to like trade or face justice or something.

Been: Any idea what Stannis’ advisor’s name is?

Kirk: Well I mean I’ve been informed that his name is Ser Buttersworth. But I feel that information is suspect.

Been: Okay, plot talk. What do you think the fallout from Theon’s burning kid action will be?

Kirk: Not enough fallout? Um, I think that basically like open rebellion from the populace. I don’t think he’ll really be able to like hold the castle if everyone there wants to slit his throat. And he’s making that seem like an awful good and noble goal for everyone there, so….

Been: Dany and the ship. Reality or dream?

Kirk: Hmmm, I don’t know. She needs the dragons. I don’t think there’s time in the next episode to get the dragons out of the House of the Undead and get the ship and get on the ocean. Yep, probably not enough time for that.

Been: Do you actually believe the dragons are IN the House of the Undying?

Kirk: Interesting, it could be a set up. Hmm, given the scene at the end of the one episode of a cloaked figure dragging them off, there was a certain, almost, religious framing of the shot almost? So I think I could see that. If it’s not them I think it’s some other quasi-religious organization.

Been: Vital question, will Jon and Ygritte get it on?

Kirk: Presuming he ends up as a prisoner of them for awhile, I think so. If she’s in a position of power she’s probably gonna end up in his pants. Not sure about next episode, but yeah.

Been: Any other predictions?

Kirk: Well, Bran and Osha will totally end up in the woods doing witchy things.

Been: Wait, you don’t think the burned kids are Bran and Rickon?

Kirk: What? No. They’re the kids of the farmer who Theon was convinced was helping Bran and his brother who likes nuts with the name that you totally just said….

Been: But don’t you think everyone else will think it’s them?

Kirk: Um, that’s interesting. I don’t think there was enough in the scene to know how that will go over within Winterfell.

Been: Okay, continue predictions.

Kirk: As I implied, Cat and Brienne are totally gonna run off with Jaime. I hope he gets gagged a lot. We’re definitely gonna see Sam this time because it’s been a long time. Yep, that’s all I can think of. Wait wait wait, there hasn’t been anything with Stannis lately so, um, Stannis is going to show up to Kings Landing earlier than expected because of Melisandre’s magic. I think that’s a bold prediction but I will feel like a wizard if I actually nail that.

Been: Anything to say about direwolves?

Kirk: Uhhhh, I don’t really have any dire predictions, nope. *laughs*

Been: Sigh.


Season 2 Episode 6

The following content is Esmé approved.

Been: So let’s discuss whether the dragons were a win or a lose.

Kirk: See I said there’d be a dragon CAMEO. And we never SAW the dragons and the only dragon content was a few seconds. BUT it was a major plot point. So I don’t know if I can really call that a cameo.

Been: Like on the one hand their tails made a cameo appearance….

Kirk: We only saw them at the tail end of the show. *chuckles*

Been: …..

Kirk: *chuckles*

Been: I will call it a half win?

Kirk: That’s not entirely unreasonable.

Been: What other predictions were you right about?

Kirk: Arya would get someone else killed. I did say she’d discover that she liked it. I think she still might but it might be in next episode because the killing was the near the end of this episode. I’m willing to claim a partial success on Shae and Sansa.

Been: I’ll allow it.

Kirk: I did say Cat would make it back to her son but I said with Brienne and tell him what happened. That didn’t really occur. So also partial. That’s pretty much the end of the successes.

Been: Let’s talk abject failure.

Kirk: Yep, as mentioned Arya and the aftermath of the killing. Still could happen. Cat still hasn’t talked to her son about what happened to, uh, Renly? Pretty sure that was Renly. Daenerys did not get her ship. Bran did not dream of being a wolf. We did in fact definitely see Jon but not really Sam, or it barely counts what we saw of Sam. I said Cersei would continue to be difficult, didn’t see much of her so I can’t really call that much of a success. But I did also say she knew that Tyrion was spying and she’s plotting revenge and that’s definitely not come up yet. I think that’s all of last time’s predictions.

Been: Do you have sympathy for Sansa right now?

Kirk: Well, yes. Honestly how would anyone but a sociopath not?

Been: Do you think Theon is the biggest shit this side of Joffrey?

Kirk: See this is tricky because when you said the biggest shit I thought no that’s Joffrey but second place? He’s absolutely a strong contender at the very least. He could be in second place. I think there’s opportunity for one day Melisandre to be a challenger for that but she isn’t currently. Although I’ll probably be biased against saying she’s the worst. Hmmm.

Been: Where do you think Osha and Hodor are taking the Stark boys?

Kirk: Well step one is trying to figure out who Osha is. But based on context I’m pretty sure it’s the Wildling who was captured. Um, hmmmm… I suspect she’s going to take them pretty much like into the wilderness sort of thing. They’re not really going to a specific person or place sort of thing where no one can find them and there’ll be more witchy magic things.

Been: Predict.

Kirk: Well obviously Daenerys is gonna get a ship… I don’t think she’s gonna get a ship. I think – real talk – I think she’s going to throw an incredible tantrum, end up getting her dragons back probably by killing some people and get kicked out of the city. And finding a ship. Maybe not in this episode but…. Let’s see, yep some definite Arya dealing with aftermath and trying to choose who she gets for her third person. Cat will talk to her son about what happened, maybe Brienne gets accused. Um, I think there’ll definitely be Bran and some OSHA… see, that’s a name. I think we’ll see Sam trying to track down Jon. And Cersei is going to have some sort of plot against Tyrion.

Been: Is that it?

Kirk: I think so, yep. I think that’s a reasonable start.

Been: Do all the dragons make it?

Kirk: Ooooh tricky! Hmmm… yes. I think so, yep. I think that’ll happen.


Season 2 Episode 5

Been: Things are HAPPENING. Give us a recap, Kirk.

Kirk: Um, a recap? Um, let’s see. Daenerys decided not to marry ummmm whatsisface with the vault, don’t remember his actual name. Let’s see, Theon got basically embarrassed by his crew and is now trying to cause additional trouble to prove himself. Arya received a gift of ending someone’s life and I think she likes it. Little concerning. Stannis’ advisor… listen, they didn’t say his name in the episode, I’m fairly sure… he is having what seem like regrets. Melisandre’s demon killed… really Kirk?… was that Renly? I think that was Renly. Names are hard. What else happened in this episode? Tyrion stole the production of some alchemist fire it seems like. I’m interested and horrified to see what he’ll get up to with that kind of power. Right, Brienne ended up sworn to Cat and sort-of implicated in the death that was actually caused by Melisandre’s demon.

Been: That’s a lot, a lot went down. So which part was the most surprising?

Kirk: Most surprising? Hmmm. I don’t know if I have an actual good answer to that. I mean like Melisandre’s demon went exactly as I anticipated, I mean the broad strokes. That wasn’t surprising. Tyrion continued to connive, that’s not exactly a surprise. I don’t think I considered anything exactly surprising really.

Been: Okay, let’s do the How Good Is Kirk At Being A Seer roundup.

Kirk: Well, let’s see, predictions from last time. I started out with Melisandre’s demon is going to do something terrible and Stannis’ advisor is going to have to face up to what he allowed. I think that’s a pretty solid hit. He doesn’t seem enthused about it. However then I said there wouldn’t be a lot of Daenerys in this episode and well THHHHBBBTTTTH. I also talked about Shae and Sansa’s weird friendship. Neither of them showed up. However I did say that Joffrey would be Ser Not Appearing In This Episode and I was correct. I said Bran would be back. We’ll just ignore the fact that I said he’d do something magical-like. (Narrator’s voice: “He did not.”) We did check back into the Ironborn. I said I wasn’t sure what they would be up to and maybe Theon would do some actual pillaging? He did not. I said I didn’t expect to see Arya and: whiff. Pretty much the same with Sam talking Jon into doing something dumb. I also said we’d check in on Jaime: that’s another whiff.

Been: We haven’t seen Jaime in awhile! Is he alive?

Kirk: Yeah sure! … I said that Cat would work towards the Littlefinger deal. Pretty mostly a whiff as she was busy running. Brienne did loom somewhere. It was not quite as awesome as I would have liked becausee now there’s people who think she did something terrible but they’re wrong so they’re terrible. I also said there’d be White Walkers: another whiff. The TL:DR is a lot of swings and misses. There was some actual hits though, the demon.

Been: To be fair, witch a witch birth a shadow demon and then predicting it’ll do something bad….

Kirk: I mean, yes. I also called the qualms the advisor had though!

Been: Do you even know the first letter of the advisor’s name?

Kirk: Oh god no. He is Stannis’ advisor in my head. I got nothing.

Been: Okay, Magic 8 Ball time. Get your predictin’ hat on.

Kirk: Uhhhh… oh man, name problems again. …*pauses*…. I should know this one too!…. *pauses* … I’m just not going to make that prediction so I don’t have to admit I don’t know the name. I think that Arya is going to get someone else killed and discover she still likes it. I, uh, I’m still going to go with Shae and Sansa are going to strike up a weird friendship because sooner or later I’ll either be right or wrong! Cat will make it back to her son with Brienne and will tell him what happened. I think she might not be believed, though. Hmmm, what else do we got? Daenerys may get her ship? I’m not sure about that. I may have to make that prediction for the next six episodes. Bran will dream about being a wolf again. We’ll go with that. And we won’t see a lot of Jon and Sam. Cersei will continue to be difficult. I think she knows that Tyrion has someone kind of spying on her and is plotting revenge. I think that’s it.

Been: Any dragon thoughts?

Kirk: I think they’re uh, still kinda draggin behind. *chuckles* I don’t think there will be anything more than roughly a dragon cameo in this episode. Like “hey look, we still got dragons in this show”.


Season 2 Episode 2

Snack Tally: cheese plate DAMAGE.

Been: So you called it on Arya unmasquerading herself. Does that feel good?

Kirk: Yes that’s a thing! I mean I remember that happening at some point in the books with what’s his name, the bastard, I just didn’t remember when. I thought that went well. I was sort of wrong about Joffrey because he wasn’t in the episode. I was right about Cersei. Actually I have to admit a grudging respect for Cersei this episode because she shut up Tyrion. Dany did not find a city which I feel like I called too early. I felt like the timing would have worked well but there’s a lot more episodes to go. I think that covers my predictions.

Been: How do you feel about Stannis the Mannis and the Red Woman?

Kirk: Unsurprised that’s how that went. Um, I mean, like we said, kind of evil hot redheads are sort of a thing so that’s also fair. The Greyjoy scene was kind of weird because that was his sister. I feel like the Greyjoy kid, Theon? He was always terrible but his father appears to be trying to top that.

Been: Do we like the Iron Islands?

Kirk: Mmmmmmm I feel like it’s an attempt to be like a noble warrior culture with the idea being to show this is what happens if you’re in an incredibly hard place but I don’t know if that’s well executed. Sociologically societies in a hard place usually learn to work together and they don’t seem like they can work together in anything, at all.

Been: Do we believe it was Cersei or Joffrey who ordered the bastard baby killings?

Kirk: Boy I’m torn about that because she’s absolutely a good enough liar to convince Tyrion she didn’t do it but Joffrey is enough of a toolbag to actually do it. I’m not 100% sure he’s experienced enough to see the necessity in doing it so I’m still going to go with Cersei.

Been: Predictions!

Kirk: See part of the difficulty is being bad at names. Stannis’ advisor’s kid is totally gonna betray his dad – that’s totally coming. We will, due to the fact that he didn’t show up this episode, Joffrey will do something terrible next episode. Jon Snow will do something dumb like rescue that girl or something. I’m going to guess that Arya is not in the next episode much. I think we’ll probably see Bran again and uh… *snaps fingers*…. uh… his wolf. Names are hard. There are a lot of names to keep track of! I’ll go ahead and say something dumb and say that Daenerys will actually run into a city this time


Season 2 Episode 1

Been: Okay, so brief recap. Where are we?

Kirk: The important things – it’s still early in the war and everyone is declaring they’re king. Everyone is pretending they don’t know where Joffrey came from but everyone knows. Robb’s mother got sent off to negotiate for more forces. Tyrion is the sort of “hand in place”. Yep, that’s kinda where we are. Stannis is appearing, he’s declared allegiance to the Lord of Light.

Been: MVP of this episode?

Kirk: Oh, interesting. Tyrion. Because Tyrion.

Been: Next time on Dragonball Z….?

Kirk: The problem is I remember random broad arcs from the books. Best guess: Dany’s gonna find a city at the edge of the Red Waste. Cersei is gonna continue to be terrible. I don’t think next episode Joffrey is gonna make me dislike him more but he’s gonna try. Arya is gonna get found out that she’s masquerading. It hurt my brain to remember that’s what’s happening right now. I think that covers the majority of it.

Been: Any dragon thoughts?

Kirk: I don’t feel like they’re a real player right now. In video game terms they are the carry right now. They are the character that’s the drain and not really contributing but later they will be really powerful. But right now they’re just eating their food.

Been: How bad will you feel if you’re wrong next episode?

Kirk: Bad because I don’t like being wrong. I like knowing things.

Been: Do you like drinking and knowing things?

Kirk: I forgot that! That’s a reason to like Tyrion more!