Game of Thrones S2E5

Posted by  Been

Been: Things are HAPPENING. Give us a recap, Kirk.

Kirk: Um, a recap? Um, let's see. Daenerys decided not to marry ummmm whatsisface with the vault, don't remember his actual name. Let's see, Theon got basically embarrassed by his crew and is now trying to cause additional trouble to prove himself. Arya received a gift of ending someone's life and I think she likes it. Little concerning. Stannis' advisor... listen, they didn't say his name in the episode, I'm fairly sure... he is having what seem like regrets. Melisandre's demon killed... really Kirk?... was that Renly? I think that was Renly. Names are hard. What else happened in this episode? Tyrion stole the production of some alchemist fire it seems like. I'm interested and horrified to see what he'll get up to with that kind of power. Right, Brienne ended up sworn to Cat and sort-of implicated in the death that was actually caused by Melisandre's demon.

Been: That's a lot, a lot went down. So which part was the most surprising?

Kirk: Most surprising? Hmmm. I don't know if I have an actual good answer to that. I mean like Melisandre's demon went exactly as I anticipated, I mean the broad strokes. That wasn't surprising. Tyrion continued to connive, that's not exactly a surprise. I don't think I considered anything exactly surprising really.

Been: Okay, let's do the How Good Is Kirk At Being A Seer roundup.

Kirk: Well, let's see, predictions from last time. I started out with Melisandre's demon is going to do something terrible and Stannis' advisor is going to have to face up to what he allowed. I think that's a pretty solid hit. He doesn't seem enthused about it. However then I said there wouldn't be a lot of Daenerys in this episode and well THHHHBBBTTTTH. I also talked about Shae and Sansa's weird friendship. Neither of them showed up. However I did say that Joffrey would be Ser Not Appearing In This Episode and I was correct. I said Bran would be back. We'll just ignore the fact that I said he'd do something magical-like. (Narrator's voice: "He did not.") We did check back into the Ironborn. I said I wasn't sure what they would be up to and maybe Theon would do some actual pillaging? He did not. I said I didn't expect to see Arya and: whiff. Pretty much the same with Sam talking Jon into doing something dumb. I also said we'd check in on Jaime: that's another whiff.

Been: We haven't seen Jaime in awhile! Is he alive?

Kirk: Yeah sure! ... I said that Cat would work towards the Littlefinger deal. Pretty mostly a whiff as she was busy running. Brienne did loom somewhere. It was not quite as awesome as I would have liked becausee now there's people who think she did something terrible but they're wrong so they're terrible. I also said there'd be White Walkers: another whiff. The TL:DR is a lot of swings and misses. There was some actual hits though, the demon.

Been: To be fair, witch a witch birth a shadow demon and then predicting it'll do something bad....

Kirk: I mean, yes. I also called the qualms the advisor had though!

Been: Do you even know the first letter of the advisor's name?

Kirk: Oh god no. He is Stannis' advisor in my head. I got nothing.

Been: Okay, Magic 8 Ball time. Get your predictin' hat on.

Kirk: Uhhhh... oh man, name problems again. ...*pauses*.... I should know this one too!.... *pauses* ... I'm just not going to make that prediction so I don't have to admit I don't know the name. I think that Arya is going to get someone else killed and discover she still likes it. I, uh, I'm still going to go with Shae and Sansa are going to strike up a weird friendship because sooner or later I'll either be right or wrong! Cat will make it back to her son with Brienne and will tell him what happened. I think she might not be believed, though. Hmmm, what else do we got? Daenerys may get her ship? I'm not sure about that. I may have to make that prediction for the next six episodes. Bran will dream about being a wolf again. We'll go with that. And we won't see a lot of Jon and Sam. Cersei will continue to be difficult. I think she knows that Tyrion has someone kind of spying on her and is plotting revenge. I think that's it.

Been: Any dragon thoughts?

Kirk: I think they're uh, still kinda draggin behind. *chuckles* I don't think there will be anything more than roughly a dragon cameo in this episode. Like "hey look, we still got dragons in this show".

Beetle Been
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