Been: We're going to take the advice of Prince Humperdinck from The Princess Bride and skip to the end. Tell me about that last scene!
Kirk: *groans* Theon. I think that's pretty much summed up as he needs a lot of comeuppance. That's just kind of the thing. He needs a lot! I'm not surprised by his actions. That does seem like the kind of thing he would do but yeah, he needs to fall down a bottomless well for the rest of his life, like bouncing off the sides.
Been: You didn't predict that, Kirk.
Kirk: I did not, that is correct.
Been: So let's run through what you DID predict.
Kirk: Excellent. Now I don't mean to alarm anyone but Daenerys did not get the ship. So I said she'd throw a tantrum to get her dragons back by killing some people and getting thrown out of the city. She did not. Someone else did all the killing, not at her bidding. And she doesn't really have the dragons yet. Um, I was pretty confident that Arya would be dealing with aftermath of that, okay I don't know his name but in my defense he was kind of a bit character, I mean if I want to be the best kind of correct she was dealing with the aftermath of, like, the death and the guards everywhere and Old Mister Lannister being more paranoid. But like real talk I meant aftermath as in how she felt about it and there was none of that. Cat still did not talk to her son.
Been: I mean I don't think that's gonna happen because there's a lot going on and he's not even there.
Kirk: Yeah I just thought he'd be back in this episode. And it turns out, nope! Too many storylines. I did say there'd be Bran and Osha which there was. I did however earlier talk about her taking them out to the wilderness and there'd be witchy magic things, I still though, my suspicion is that they were nowhere near that farm, they just stopped by and stole some stuff and disappeared into the wilderness. I also said that we'd see Sam trying to track down Jon and TTTHHPPBBTTT. None of that. I said Cersei would have a plot against Tyrion: she might be plotting but it definitely did not come up in the episode. That was sort of the all the predictions I had. You asked if I thought all the dragons would make it and so far we haven't seen otherwise so, unresolved.
Been: You're not gonna take a victory lap for the Shae and Sansa friendship?
Kirk: Oh man, I absolutely should. That is absolutely correct. Yeah, I think that's basically all the predictions, though.
Been: Real talk, is Cat gonna slay Jaime?
Kirk: Noooooo. Although she should. She's an extremely reasonable person and she wants her damn kids back. And that's her primary bargaining chip. In fact, given what Brienne said to her, I suspect that she's going to abscond in the night with, hehe, the knight. Um, and try to bring him somewhere else to like trade or face justice or something.
Been: Any idea what Stannis' advisor's name is?
Kirk: Well I mean I've been informed that his name is Ser Buttersworth. But I feel that information is suspect.
Been: Okay, plot talk. What do you think the fallout from Theon's burning kid action will be?
Kirk: Not enough fallout? Um, I think that basically like open rebellion from the populace. I don't think he'll really be able to like hold the castle if everyone there wants to slit his throat. And he's making that seem like an awful good and noble goal for everyone there, so....
Been: Dany and the ship. Reality or dream?
Kirk: Hmmm, I don't know. She needs the dragons. I don't think there's time in the next episode to get the dragons out of the House of the Undead and get the ship and get on the ocean. Yep, probably not enough time for that.
Been: Do you actually believe the dragons are IN the House of the Undying?
Kirk: Interesting, it could be a set up. Hmm, given the scene at the end of the one episode of a cloaked figure dragging them off, there was a certain, almost, religious framing of the shot almost? So I think I could see that. If it's not them I think it's some other quasi-religious organization.
Been: Vital question, will Jon and Ygritte get it on?
Kirk: Presuming he ends up as a prisoner of them for awhile, I think so. If she's in a position of power she's probably gonna end up in his pants. Not sure about next episode, but yeah.
Been: Any other predictions?
Kirk: Well, Bran and Osha will totally end up in the woods doing witchy things.
Been: Wait, you don't think the burned kids are Bran and Rickon?
Kirk: What? No. They're the kids of the farmer who Theon was convinced was helping Bran and his brother who likes nuts with the name that you totally just said....
Been: But don't you think everyone else will think it's them?
Kirk: Um, that's interesting. I don't think there was enough in the scene to know how that will go over within Winterfell.
Been: Okay, continue predictions.
Kirk: As I implied, Cat and Brienne are totally gonna run off with Jaime. I hope he gets gagged a lot. We're definitely gonna see Sam this time because it's been a long time. Yep, that's all I can think of. Wait wait wait, there hasn't been anything with Stannis lately so, um, Stannis is going to show up to Kings Landing earlier than expected because of Melisandre's magic. I think that's a bold prediction but I will feel like a wizard if I actually nail that.
Been: Anything to say about direwolves?
Kirk: Uhhhh, I don't really have any dire predictions, nope. *laughs*