Been: We're back! After a long hiatus where the rest of you finished the whole damn Game of Thrones SERIES and Kirk is still agonizing over Daenerys' ship out of Quarth. So, Kirky, how did your predictions from the end of Season 2 about this opener go?
Kirk: Eeeeuuuugghh mostly misses. Uh, let's see: I said Theon gets dragged back to the Iron Isles. *buzzer sound* Bran and Osha, witchy things in the woods. *buzzer sound* Melisandre is going to do something magical for Stannis. *buzzer sound* For Tyrion to stay around King's Landing he'd have to do something bold. *buzzer sound* I did say that Shae would stay there with him, also I did say that Daenerys would get her ship! Just like I've said a dozen times previously.
Been: So two wins.
Kirk: BUT I also said there'd be a new story arc with Arya. Also a fail. And Jon Snow would meet Mance. And that Ser Buttersworth would appear.
Been: Five fails and four wins.
Kirk: That's mostly true. I feel like some of the wins were minor compared to the fails, though. Also I'm still mad I missed the name of Ser Buttersworth.
Been: I know, Melisandre said it! But I think you're so used to thinking of him as Ser Buttersworth that you missed it!
Been: So, satisfying opener?
Kirk: Uh, yeah! Some interesting set up there. I think you're totally right that probably Dany speaks the language that the un - un *groans* unsullied? un... what was the stupid name? Was it unsullied? That sounds sort of right...?
Been: *grins and stays silent*
Kirk: GUH. The slaver language. Dany speaks it.
Kirk: Yeah, uh, Tywin? (Think he's the dad.) He was kind of a jerk to Tyrion which I think will be a mistake eventually because Tyrion's good at skullduggery and that's not someone you want to piss off too many times. That's a dangerous occupation. I of course suspect that Littlefinger is just setting up to betray Sansa.
Been: So is that a prediction?
Kirk: A long-term, mmhmm. I think those were sort of the main points.
Been: Dragon status.
Kirk: Mmmm, um, definitely growing. They were much more like freely flying around Dany's SHIP *looks pointedly at Been* and feeding as well. I suspect they're eventually going to need to eat things bigger than fish. Also given how much of them we saw in this episode, I feel like they had more budget for this season.
Been: Quick aside, does Ghost have flame-throwing power?
Kirk: No, that was the lord commander setting the walker on fire. Although at first it sure looked like it.
Been: Okay Kirk, take me to prediction town.
Kirk: This next time on Dragonball Z, I think we will see Theon get dragged back. BRAN AND OSHA WILL DO WITCHY THINGS IN THE WOODS. I'll be right eventually. I think we'll run into Arya. Seems like she's a powerful and popular enough character they can't abandon her for the first two episodes. Surprised she wasn't there for this one. I think that we will see Jon Snow again because they're just continually trying to make him happen. Kind of like fetch.
Kirk: Um, yeah I definitely think that it will come out that Daenerys can speak the slave trader language. I feel like she's going to buy the slaves. I think she's going to say she should free them but I don't think she's going to do so.
Kirk: I think Sansa will continue to be passive, not a lot happening to her for the next few episodes until Littlefinger moves something.
Kirk: Oh right, Robb. Robb will... I don't think we'll see a lot of him next episode but his mom might actually escape. And then he'll look very frowny and regal because she escaped.
Been: He's just the opposite of Stannis who looks frowny and petulant.
Kirk: Mmmm VERY petulant. Stannis the Sad.
Been: Any other predictions?
Kirk: That's all I can think of right now.
Been: Any words for your fans?
Kirk: Mostly I'm surprised that I have "fans" per se, but, just remember: if you're a true fan you have be powered and have sharp blades and spin around real fast.
Kirk: *laughs uproariously*