Been: For reasons known only to my subconscious I am singing the Indiana Jones theme song. Kirk, why is Game of Thrones so rapey?

Kirk: I'm pretty sure that there have been takes from people trying to claim like 'authenticity', I think they're just trying to cover for the fact that they like it and they think that's the natural order of things and therefore they're terrible. TL:DR no reason.

Been: It's like The Laziest Writing. "Hmm woman needs adversity - rape?" Or there's a dartboard and every circle is labelled rape and they just throw darts.

Kirk: I mean most of the time it's not even 'woman needs adversity' it's some dude needs adversity and she's just a prop at that point. And/or the 'kick the dog' moment to demonstrate that someone is evil.

Been: This entire sentiment was kind of captured by Cersei, actually, when she said to Oberyn "Everywhere in the world hurts little girls."

Kirk: And I don't think that she was wrong, obviously. It's funny in a weird terrible way to see the show saying that and then also doing that. But there's a whole bunch of power things involved in a lot of that even as Cersei said, you know, 'what good is this power if it can't save your children' in this specific example. But as a general rule the people with more power are the ones who are getting away with all of this.

Been: It's true in Westeros, it's true in America, it's true in Canada... it's shameful how modern the lack of respect and humanity is in this show.

Kirk: Yeah that's a weird thing that transfers over a lot, it would seem. I do wonder, to a certain degree, how much of it is basically informed by our world as opposed to being what it "was" or "would be like".

Been: I think it's safe to say that the history of mankind, specifically MANkind, has been forged in a fire of rape.

Kirk: Yeah, that's definitely been a recurring theme, unfortunately. At least that part is probably not that far off in the series, I guess. I mean that doesn't necessarily mean they have to emphasize that as much as I think they have. If you have an entire world full of white walkers and other fantastical things, it's almost a failure of imagination to say that all of this could happen but mankind could never be different.

Been: I agree. What else is there to say on the rape topic? The show is comprised of dragons, snow, and rape. And that's just how it is. But also, as we learned this episode, it has a moon door!

Kirk: I missed that in the episode although I remember it from the book series and their family's weird obsession with threatening to make people fly. I feel like there must be like an entire guardhouse somewhere down below with basically mops and buckets.

Been: Also, given the amount of wine these people drink, it doesn't seem like the kind of feature you a) want in a floor, and b) want to just casually leave open.

Kirk: I mean I guess the interpretation of a lot of medieval time drinking was it was a much lower percentage than we're used to and safer than drinking the water because that was a great way to get dysentery but I do still suspect that most of the lords and ladies were just half-cut all the time.

Been: Pod basically told Brienne that the only squiring he did for Tyrion was pouring wine...

Kirk: Yeah, I mean Tyrion is a maybe extreme example. But I feel like the other people complained about his excesses because they too clearly demonstrated their own just a little bit too far.

Been: Like "methinks thou dost protest too much". Hey let's do a name recap! Who did you see onscreen that you remember?

Kirk: Well there was Jon Snow and Brienne of Tarth and Littlefinger. Arya and Sansa, Stark obviously. Who else? Hodor. Important character. Uh, Jon Snow's wolf. Who has a dumb name... dammit.... *ponders*.... like, Winter or White Wolf or some dang thing like that. Um there was also She Of The Genocide (who shall not be named because it might encourage her to genocide more). Uh, there was Cersei and I think there was like a shot of Jaime. There was the new king Tomlin? Tommen? And then there's the other characters that showed up here that I thought of but can't remember their name which is definitely only a few.

Been: So... Joffrey's widow? Remember her?

Kirk: *side eye* Uh.... yes I remember her.

Been: And Ser FriendZone? Remember him?

Kirk: Yep, definitely remember that character.... WAIT! Margaery!

Been: Ooooh look at you!!! NAMES!! What about Ser FriendZone?

Kirk: *frowns*.... *ponders*..... *hamster in head dies of exhaustion*.... dammit... Dany told him at one point to stay behind from the meeting.... but I don't remember the name she used.

Been: You're doing really well though.

Kirk: Surprisingly well. Considering how long ago it was I saw this and my standard name recall abilities or lack thereof.

Been: Ok of just this episode alone, what moment was your favorite plot point?

Kirk: The unraveling of Mrs. Genocide's empire behind her. Because she's not actually like taking any care with these locations that she has *giant air quotes* "LIBERATED", she's basically just abandoning them once she's stripped out everything that she wanted.

Been: Dany is a Tiny Genghis Khan. She is a greedy Spanish Inquisition all by herself. She is a small blonde dictator fiend.

Kirk: And she's more dangerous because she has that thin veneer of liberator on her. And I'm not sure but she might buy it herself.

Been: She for sure believes she's "doing good". She thinks she's different from her now-dead brother because she's not about power, she's about liberation. Except she doesn't see, because of her own blindness and also because of all the ass-kissing going on around her, that her liberation is really just a string of murders and plunders en route to a throne she believes she deserves.

Kirk: Yeah it's hard to claim the title of "liberator" as you're trying to rule the entire seven kingdoms.

Been: Final question: name a single Stark direwolf.

Kirk: Shaggy dog!

Been: Wow.