It's the finale of Season 4 and we're unveiling a new format for Cheese of Thrones! The Live Watch. Formerly known as "live blogging", we are going to watch Episode 10 and comment as we go. Can Been's fingers keep up? We will see. Join us, won't you?
Kirk: Looks like he's going out to Fetch something.
Been: *does not respond to puns*
Been: That's a lot of potential Walkers, all those dead bodies.
Kirk: Yep, that's a thing. That could get ugly.
Kirk: It's awfully foggy, I'm surprised actually that they could tell he's not just another random person.
Been: He used his Batman voice for that: "I'm sent to negotiate."
Kirk: It looks like they're drinking milk. It's probably fermented milk or something weird.
Been: It's pretty strong milk. *as Jon chokes*
Been: HORN! Who could it be?
Kirk: Yeah, it's a pretty horny camp.
Been: I cannot respond to puns, Kirk.
Kirk: Oh I think you can.... *pauses, watches horse and riders*.... Yep, they're not horsing around.
Been: I always feel sorry for the horses in battle.
Been: His Petulance!
Kirk: Here he frowns his way onto the screen.
Been: Stannis the weaseliest looking royal, and that's saying something in a world with Joffrey.
Kirk: Though Joffrey was a worse person.
Kirk: All of them. *as Jon tells Stannis to burn the dead before nightfall* Not some of them and not tomorrow.
Been: I really am 100% with Cersei on her feelings towards Pycelle. I can't stand him.
Kirk: Aw, he's not that bad.
*Qyburn assures Cersei his sorcery won't weaken the Mountain*
Kirk: Not ominous at all.
Cersei: "How could someone so consumed with the idea of family have any idea what their family was actually doing?"
Kirk: ... or WHO! ayooooooo!
Been: Just be clear, though, marrying Loras Tyrell wouldn't stop her from sleeping with Jaime.
Kirk: Marrying what-his-name didn't!
Been: She might have to fight Loras for Jaime.
Kirk: Oh look, the owner of many titles. She thinks titles are Pokemon.
Been: Dany has more titles than I ever had Pokemon.
Kirk: To be fair, this guy could probably find someone to teach amongst the freed slaves.
Been: Dany is so hellbent on abolishing slavery, she doesn't understand the mindset of those who were born into it or what they need.
Kirk: She also has this very common problem of wanting to abolish the thing but not wanting to do the work to change the underpinnings of what makes this their only choice.
Kirk: The dragon's eaten bigger ones than three year olds.
Been: I'm struggling to understand how she didn't see the dragons eating people problem coming.
Kirk: Because she thought that she had it all under control. Because obviously, like, noone would deny her. She's too important for that.
Been: Those damn dragons, following their instinct and all!
Kirk: Don't they know how many titles she has?!
Kirk: Also I don't honestly believe she could move those chains.
Been: Me either. If they're strong enough to hold a dragon, she couldn't lift them.
Kirk: They're also not tight enough - those dragons' heads are the size of their necks.
Been: It just seems cruel to the dragons.
Kirk: I'm almost disappointed if that's the only shot of Melisandre in this whole episode. But you know bad things are coming.
Tormund: "The dead can't hear us, boy."
Kirk:... until they can. That's why we burn them.
Kirk: I often wonder in these sorts of circumstances how often they'd actually just strip these people naked to burn them so the clothing would be saved - it's valuable, a lot of work.
Kirk: LOOK! Trees! Bran's in the woods.
Been: OSHA. IS. NOT. THERE.
Kirk: She could show up any time.
Been: Kirk, which direwolf was that?
Kirk: Damn, I knew you were gonna ask that.... *pauses* OH LOOK, SKELETONS!
Been: Poor Hodor.
Kirk: Gee, there's a lot of skeletons. They're kinda boned.
Been: Which wolf is that?
Kirk: Uhhhh White Wolf or some dumb name?
Been: It's Summer.
Been: Whoa! Great balls of fire.
Kirk: You know, if I had a wall I could stand behind so I could taunt them and they'd explode if they crossed it, that would be a game every day.
Been: 'Where's Kirk?' 'Out shattering skeletons again.'
*under the tree among the roots*
Kirk: That's a weird cave.
Been: It is.
Kirk: I guess they're really rooting for that guy.
Been *inwardly cries*
Three Eyed Raven: You'll never walk again. But you'll fly.
Kirk: Birds can walk!
*Brienne and Podrick onscreen*
Kirk: It is kinda Eyrie looking around there.
Kirk: Hey look it's that actress!
Been: Maisie Williams.
Been: I feel like both Brienne and the Hound misunderstand how dangerous Arya is. Like Arya could watch over both of them at this point.
Kirk: I feel like Arya's on a road to dangerous. But she's still kinda small and inexperienced.
Been: She's killed more people than Podrick!
Kirk: Don't get me wrong, she's absolutely on that road. She's becoming kinda scary.
*Brienne punches the Hound in the groin*
Been: I'll give it to Game of Thrones, though. These fights are real fights. They're full-on brawls.
Kirk: Oh yeah, these are disturbingly the real shit.
*Hound's leg is a bloody mangle*
Kirk: That's a mess.
Arya, to the Hound: "I'll last longer than you."
Kirk: That's a low bar right now.
Been: Arya is a cold, cold girl. *as Arya robs the Hound but won't kill him*
Kirk: She's on the road to scary. I was actually a little concerned at first that she'd just sit there and watch him die.
*Tyrion comes across Shae in Tywin's quarters*
Been: Honestly, I've said it before - you really don't want to cross Tyrion.
Kirk: *nods* It's a bad plan.
Been: This is a VERY intense way to kill someone.
Kirk: Yeah.... this is a rough scene.
Kirk: You know, Tyrion has a lot of reasons to be as grumpy as he is.
Been: He has literally been shit upon his whole life, starting with the people who brought him into the world.
Kirk: Also, could they hire some guards for this castle?
Been: It is weird that there are no guards outside Tywin's quarters.
Been: You know, this whole speech is embarrassingly desperate of Tywin.
Kirk: I think he knows that shit is pretty real right now.
Been: To be fair, Tywin, he TOLD you what would happen if you called her a whore once more.
Kirk: And also, I think you should realize you're in a really sketchy situation.
Been: I like Varys.
Kirk: He's an interesting character.
Been: Nice undertones of the theme swelling in there, score!
Kirk: There's a lot less Lannisters than there used to be. I mean sadly Cersei's still around.
Been: I'm not saying she's good. She's not. But damn I'm glad she's still here.
Been: *hums the theme*
Kirk: Where'd Arya get the horse?
Been: I think she stole it. I'm assuming from Brienne and Pod.
Ship's Captain: "There's nothing in the north but ice, war, and violence."
Been: Wait, how is ice, war, and violence different than what's around her now?
Kirk: Arya just stumbling into things I don't think she really understands.
Been: Where do you think she's sailing?
Kirk: Well they said to Braavos. Which is where the weird face changer was from, I'm 70% sure.
Been: It was a good episode.
Kirk: I mean we're down a Lannister so it's a good episode.